HIGH ON THE HOG, JOWL LEVEL IF WE’RE BEING PRECISE
So The Month of Cooking Dangerously could now be more accurately called The Season of Cooking Irritably. My fucker of a kitchen still isn’t done. Granted, to the casual observer it is done. Functionally it’s done. But the last few nagging details have lingered on and on like a stale fart in the place where I should be ...
>
SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, DOCTOR FATTERSON
I feel like my priorities have been all out of whack lately. The once fertile womb of my curing chamber lies fallow and has for months. My freezer is empty of the homemade bacon that makes summer tomatoes achieve their otherworldly state. My smoker has seen only one brisket this entire season, and even that was a bit of a ...
>
O COPPA! MY COPPA!
About 6 months ago I wrote something cute about struggling over waiting a couple weeks for some meat to cure. Six months later it’s ready. And I know what it means to wait. Looking back at those early, fidgeting days, I believe I’ve come to understand the technical term for my condition: being an impatient tit. The ...
>
CHARCUTEPALOOZA’S FINAL CHAPTER: NERO WOULD’VE BEEN PROUD
As Charcutepalooza concluded with a call for showing off all we’ve learned, I couldn’t help but feel a small amount of glee for the bad decisions I was about to make. Looking at the contest as a whole, there was a lot that went into it: a push to encourage local and more sustainable consumption, an affirmation of home ...
>
CHARCUTEPALOOZA CHALLENGE #11: THE ITALIAN FOR “ARE WE THERE YET?”
It’s probably inappropriate to describe any feelings toward a pig as a love affair. But it’s true. I have a pig-lover. And my pig-lover’s name is Mangalitsa. I’ve documented my feelings toward the king of swine here. But let me just say again, this is some pig. It’s also my pork of choice for this month’s (second ...
>
CHARCUTEPALOOZA CHALLENGE #10: PIECE OF MASTERFUL CRAFT OR THE GREATEST PRACTICAL JOKE OF THE 16TH CENTURY INVOLVING A CHICKEN?
If there’s one thing that I know to be true, it’s that the Italians taught the French how to cook. It’s true, just ask any Italian. When Caterina de’ Medici married Henry II, she departed Italy with her best cooks and delivered the gift of Florentine cuisine to the heretofore uninitiated. But after this month’s ...
>
IF I GET DRUNK AND EAT A WHOLE MEAT PIE, IT’S A FAMILY TRADITION
This month Charcutepalooza brought a choice: pate or meat pie. I have a little bit of history with both. In the case of pate, it’s a history I would rather forget. I have a spectacular ability to completely screw it up. Chicken liver, duck liver, doesn’t matter. My pates tend to end up somewhere between a sous vide ...
>